Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Lucerne and Engelberg, Switzerland: June 29-30, 2015 - Donna Ain't Shit

It has been brought to my attention that there was a problem with these posts from my Eurotrip being in the wrong order. I did some investigating on that problem this morning and I think I fixed it. At last the question asked in my very first post has been answered: yes, I can change the post time and date manually. How's that for closure. Didn't realize this blog was a single narrative, did you?

Before the trip started, Meagan and Josh both (independently) followed a girl on Instagram named Donna who, in addition to having something like 40,000 followers, had just been on our same trip with this travel company. The beautiful and artsy photos she took got them all the more excited for the trip. But the question they kept asking was: how did she get so many followers? Once the two of them were on the trip and posting photos of their own, it was obvious that just the shots of European locales weren't the secret ingredient. What made her so special? She wasn't doing anything more exciting or adventurous then we were. So now anytime the group took a cool photo or stumbled upon some interesting activity, we'd all agree: Donna ain't shit. Meagan even started using that as a hash tag.

Quick note for people that don't use Instagram: it's basically a Facebook for photos only; you can post, like pictures, and follow people so you get notified every time they post. Hashtags are a way of sorting photos: you can search for, say, #venice and find all the pictures with that tag. Okay, back to the story.

Two nights in Switzerland. We stayed in this picturesque little town nestled up in the mountains called Engelberg. "Picturesque" pretty much describes anywhere in Switzerland. Switzerland is a picturesque place.

As always, shots from the bus ride in:



The place we stayed is this nice little hotel geared toward the skiers that come in the winter, owned by this lovely couple, with a rustic wooden feel to it, that still uses metal keys for the rooms. My room was on the top floor, and the view from our balcony was exquisite:



The night was pretty uneventful; we'd arrived late because of our side trip in Verona, and the whole town all but shuts down at 10:00 PM due to noise ordinances that would render any clubbing or late night activities impractical. Most restaurants close, a couple bars stay quietly open until maybe midnight.

The place is so, so quiet at night. Peacefully so, though, not in a creepy way, although Sam, Adam, and I joked that this place seemed like it could be the setting of a Stephen King novel where the townsfolk murder an inquisitive outsider for being too nosy. We sat out on the deck of our hotel drinking our Italian wine and talking, and all of us had to whisper or else we would have disturbed the stillness. It was that quiet.

It was also expensive. Switzerland is so pricey it's impractical. The cheapest restaurant in town, a little diner attached to a sporting complex, serves a cheeseburger for 18 and a half francs, which is roughly equivalent if not a little under what it would cost in US dollars. Somehow I found a cold ham sandwich for 6 francs, and luckily, tap water was free. That's been one of the most annoying things about Europe overall, that water is generally not free, and often is just as expensive as soda or tea. Oh, and don't forget to specify: still water. Sparkling is the default. Why the hell would sparkling be the default when someone says "water" without any qualifiers? Come on, Europe.

The main event was our day trip into Lucerne the next day, which was really just a staging area for our trip up into the Swiss Alps. The Alps trip was one of the optional add-ons you could sign up for when registering for the trip, and back in May or April when I did that, I figured I'd refrain from all of those to save on cost. The Amsterdam bike tour was one of these. But when I found out almost everyone was doing it, I asked Georgios if it was possible to still add it on, and happily, it was.

We walked around Lucerne for about 15 minutes as a group, crossing the Kapelbrücke, or Chapel Bridge, which is like, totally super old. It also makes for nice photographs:



We then said goodbye to the three people who elected not to go into the Alps and boarded our boat across the lake:


The Switzerland stop of this trip was essentially a series of moments when we all thought we had at last reached the photo-op, only to find the next thing was yet more impressive and breathtaking. So crossing the lake, I took a few photos that I thought were pretty cool:




Until the boat docked and we boarded our train up the mountain:



Which was only impressive until we got off at our train stop on the mountain and could take in the scenery at our own pace:


Which paled in comparison to the view once we took an elevator up to the restaurant level:



Which was dwarfed by how it looked once we reached the peak at last:




Unreal. According to A Sign, we were over a mile up from sea level. These are the kinds of views you can only get in airplanes.

I saw a paraglider go by while I was taking that last photo. It soared around, slowly descending into the valley below. When we returned to our group, we learned that the person paragliding was Meagan.

No, she didn't bring her equipment with her just to do a quick jump. While the group had been standing around taking pictures, a guy had walked up to them, explained he took people paragliding, said he had had a last minute cancellation, and asked if anyone wanted to go. And Meagan said, "me!"

She handed off her stuff to the group, agreed on a meeting point, then took off. And supposedly, the paraglider guy recorded the whole thing on his Go Pro. Donna may have 40,000 followers, but she ain't never paraglided off the Swiss Alps casually at a moment's notice. Donna ain't shit.

While the rest of the group finished up our sightseeing at the top of the mountain and then headed back down (via train and cable car), Meagan made her way to the train station in the town where she had landed and made her way back to Lucerne to meet up with us. The cable car was okay, but crowded, so the view was a bit obscured. It was quicker than the train, though. Once we got to the bottom, we took the bus back to Lucerne and saw the lion statue, symbol of Lucerne:


It's weeping for the Swiss lost in the French Revolution. Sad, sad lion.

We walked back toward the bridge we had walked across that morning to find Meagan, then went to Casa Grande, the most touristy of tourist shops there is. It was PACKED. Three whole floors and I could barely move through. I loathe souvenir shops on a good day, so you can imagine how much I enjoyed this place. The second floor is where they sell and engrave authentic Swiss Army knives, which is what most people were intersted in. I didn't want one. I did, however, get a bar of Swiss chocolate. Dad, I don't think I can bring you any. It will melt before I even get on the plane. I got you something else, though, don't worry.

We then left to go to Bucherer, where they sell expensive diamonds and watches, including Rolex. It was a swanky place. I've used that word a lot on this trip, but there's really no better. Georgios told us that this store houses the world's largest diamond, so we went in to see it. Wasn't on the first floor, nor the second, and by the top floor we were getting a little confused. So we asked the sales woman where they had it. She didn't know what we were talking about, but she said she'd go get the biggest diamond they had in stock. She returned from the secret back room with two rings, one the largest diamond ring they had, which sold for roughly 66,000 francs, and a slightly smaller but apparently purer diamond ring, which would fetch a respectable 116,000 francs. She knew we were not in any shape to buy something like these, but just for kicks, she asked if we wanted to see he most expensive thing they had in stock. We said yes, of course. She left and returned with a second sales associate ("for security") and a sapphire ring, covered with tiny diamonds that sparkled like glitter. The price? 1.4 million francs, probably $1.5 million or thereabouts.

It was kind of neat to see a million and a half dollars just sitting on a counter. Don't get to do that every day. Donna ain't never done none of that. She ain't shit.

It's not about disparaging Donna, of course, or begrudging her her internet fame. Good for her, really. I think there's an inherent jealousy in celebrity, and we all enjoy one-upping the famous as much as we enjoy admiring them. The point is that everyone's experiences can matter. Just because people aren't listening doesn't mean you don't have something to say.

We were hot and tired by the time we left Lucerne to go back to Engelberg. That night was another low-key night, eating dinner and taking a short walk around this lovely mountain town. Had a quick beer at the hotel bar before showering and going to bed. The next morning was an early one. We've got a final busride to the train station in Basel, then we're catching the TGV, and heading north.

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